Computer chiropracty

I have decided to start a chiropractic computer repair business.

I have determined that since the power cord is the source of all computing power, without which, computers could not function at all, that the power cord must be the cause of all computer problems.

If you are experiencing a computer problem, just call me and I will come right over to evaluate, diagnose, and adjust your power cord to solve your problem.

I will focus primarily on cord kinks, which cause most problems. Next I will evaluate the curves of your code to maximize power flow, and finally, I will adjust your cord's "aura" not by touching directly, which would affect the aura, disturbing my analysis, but rather using "near-field" adjustments.

One important fact is that although the first visit is likely to improve your computer's performance, it can take several visits before your cord's years of bad adjustment are completely resolved.

And finally, and most important, you should call me for "maintenance adjustments" of your cord even if your computer appears to be running well. Only with these maintenance visits can the continued healthy operation of your computer be ensured. This applies to brand new computers because no doubt the cord arrived from the factory in a horribly twisted condition. Just like your chiropractor would love to get his hands on your children, I would love to get my hands on your brand new computer's power cord.